To the BATMOBILE

Sunday, February 25, 2007

sentosa is a bitch (you know, beach?)

Butlerman goes to the beach, sans his usual superhero outfit, sporting instead a washed-blue PE tanktop on yet another of those questionably-awarded but dully celebrated AC holidays. He tries to emulate Ronaldinho/Robinho/Ronaldo/Rivaldo/any normal Brazilian in a flashy display of beach football, but ends up kicking sand into his face... Attempts to swim but has an overdose of seasalt for his trouble, served up with a couple million calf cramps. Ends up suffering from third degree burns on his head and shoulders region (complete with embarrasing singlet tan lines) and looking like the lobster display at your local Fish&Co. There has to be a moral in this story.

~~Always bring sun-block to the beach~~ Never leave my house ever again. (I type this out most vehemently as my father chances past my bedroom door and makes another passing remark over my resemblance to the red power ranger)

TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 1:01 am
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Thursday, February 15, 2007

lessons learnt.

Butlerman's lessons learnt no.1: Leaving water heater on for 2 hours makes for interesting bathing experience.

Yes, yes... Butlerman has been a lazy boy. Butlerman no want write long long.

TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 8:58 pm
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Monday, February 12, 2007

bouts of insanity

I'm quite certain, as a sleep-deprived, eyebag-cursed, homework-overloaded superhero, I could be achieving a far lot more then I am at this present moment by spewing my (lack of) insightful views over the world wide web. Instead, my imagination has been captivated by what was a meaningless forage into the junkyard of cyberspace that is Friendster where I've stumbled across the existence of a few more beauties from SCGS, where I was left astounded in the manner of someone who has heard of the word "female" but never ever seen one.

However, with more pressing issues to attend to, such as the realisation that via the increasingly faster and inevitable process called "hair-growth", my once bald head has now begun to resemble a potato (a hairy and obscene potato to boot). Desperately seeking means of which to cut my hair which doesn't involve me paying the Chinese New Year surcharge to a barber, I'm quite open to anybody offering himself/herself up for the task of trimming my sides (hair-wise) such that I resemble something more humanlike as less like a mutant tuber. This is actually (quite disturbingly so) correlated to Valentines day (as all potato-related issues always are to the occasion where pledges of love and romance are made... or are they?) because for the 17th time in all 17 years of my life have I found myself unable to be bothered to ask anyone (male or female) out - possibly ~~due to a deep innate fear of rejection~~ because I am Butlerman, end of story.

With stress threatening to tear my brain apart in a not-too-tidy fashion, I shall gently retire to the comfort of my bed and its tasteless bed sheets to meditate over the possible solutions after I've checked my room and pockets thoroughly in case there was an available Valentine there - one never knows his luck...

TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 11:06 pm
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Monday, February 05, 2007

several startling 'stonishing stuff

Due to the overwhelming response calling for my return to post (I had to activate my firewall to prevent the sarcasm from corrupting my computer - expended my repetoire of jokes to include internet jargon!), I decided once more to re-enter the world of cyberspace as the once famed Butlerman - striding forth in spanking black spandex and cliche yellow plageurised bat motif. Cue fanfare of trumpets and sprinkling forth of confetti!

Unfortunately, sporting a bicep muscle that flops a bit too much more then it should flex after a gruelling 2 hour gym session, a brain devoid of any imagination nor vocabulary to work around with (I've just stumbled across the blogs of some of my friends and have had my ego duly punctured inclusive of unflattering balloon-emptying flabbering sound), a fourth finger giving it's best impression of a purple sausage ever since dear Captain (of the rugby team I partake in) trodded on it, and a distinct lack of social life (possibly the most repeated phrase throughout this blog's entire existence - for good reason) ever since school has begun, I've decided to take the shortcut out and give a handy, dandy and hopefully somewhat interesting list of the little factual nibblet's I've stumbled across in my daily Butlerman routine.

1- Constructing a chemistry practical report is alot less exciting then its name entails (and even then its name doesn't really promise much does it...)
2- Wearing an oversized school shirt (Butlerman's desperation to conform to the ACS expectation is painfully evident) creates an interesting 'drag' effect when sprinting after that damned 196 that never bothers to standardise its arrival time every morning (the Batmobile isn't used to mundane, trivial tasks such as attending school - 'tis only education...)
3- The girls who pursue education within the hallowed and ill-constructed (think less hallowed and more hollowed) walls of ACSIB seem to have no perceivable vice. Inhumane, sick and twisted - they even stare at me whenever I swear as if I've said something wrong (honestly).
4- I do actually attempt to refrain from coarse language. (Countless readers smirking behind the safety of their computer screens...)

And once more, to cap off a very unproductive blogging spree in the most unconceivably random and anticlimatic of ways by just...

TO THE BATMOBILE.
Like that.

posted by butler at 9:20 pm
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