To the BATMOBILE

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

public service announcement

You know those double-sided Clean Colour highlighter markers that's been all the stationery rage since the 15th century? You probably do - seeing as you already own at least one in any shade of pink or red (I prefer maroon - speaks of passion yet with an air of sophistication). Ever felt the inexplicable desire to deface the limb or body part (common sense and good taste withstanding) of a friend? Please don't. This comes as a desperate plea to all would be perpetrators after having both arms vandalized - literally painted upon - with said markers.

It wasn't the way which I received it which irked me the most. Admittedly being pinned down by someone with his fully flexed thighs around the facial region is not the most glamorous of all positions I've been in, resembling at the most a pornographic wrestling maneuver. It wasn't the million messages scribbled across my forearms that did me in. No, not in the least the vile lies of "I love Zac Effron" or even the blatantly obvious truth of being labeled "Sexy beast".

Rather its the fact I've spent a good portion of the last 45 minutes in my shower skinning myself with a brush that has the texture and comfort of nail-studded sandpaper attempting to scrub it off. Hannibal Lector would've been proud of the amount of self-inflicted pain I had to undergo.

This has been a deeply personal heartfelt public service announcement delivered by Butlerman himself. He only has your interests at heart. (Editors note: This was written with a vile bitter taste in my mouth due to the immense cheese that much of this article seems to radiate - lack of creativity and the desperation to post something has resulted in thus much).

TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 2:14 am
link |

0 Comments:

Want to Post a Comment?

back to main page