To the BATMOBILE

Thursday, January 10, 2008

wildlife

Take a walk through the much maligned corridors of the boarding school halls, in particular the hall that houses the dark knight himself, the dreaded fist of justice, the respected, the feared, Butlerman. Tread lightly, for the floors mysteriously never dry (the tears of the forsaken are ever-flowing), and should you be as inconveniently equipped as myself to only have in your possession a pair of beach slippers which get as much purchase on the ground as I notoriously do with the opposite sex, then prepare to fall... and fall hard.

Take sympathetic but wary note of the crazed, furtive glances of the ASEAN contingent that seek shelter there, but move swiftly amongst the discarded remnants of their school uniform! If antagonised, they become feral and must be put down immediately. Butlerman recommends a long broom for self-defence. They exhibit fear and distress in the vincinity of such symbols of cleanliness. Toothpaste and oral hygiene has proved fatal for certain species. Most demonstrate the ability to operate alarm clocks with an alarming (punny) proficiency. Experts postulate that these mammals believe that the greater their collection of annoying clocks, the more assured their alpha male status is.

Moving on, pay particular attention to that mixblood shoddily dressed male in slippers and a sling sieving through the swill of sweatstained school shirts at 11pm and howling in denial. Yes, the "great" Butlerman, for all his self-righteousness has forgot to remove his exclusive council badge and now spends the unbecoming task of rifling through the aroma of bleach and a cocktail of bodily odours to find it.

Edit: He finally did. Lesson learnt. Karma bites hard.
TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 10:13 pm
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