To the BATMOBILE

Monday, December 03, 2007

from the king of complacency, with much love

One always wishes he could say for certain that there was a brief period in his rather brief existence that he wasn't crazy. This particular superhero empathises.

**Health Warning: Hefty ramblings ensue**

Having recently watched the rather satisfying "The Illusionist" on my comptuer's DVD player while dribbling rice over my keyboard, I'm keen on quoting what the incredibly eccentric-looking character of Edward Norton, Eisenhower, said regarding how time seems to be flexible and how we wish we could slow happier times and fastforward the doldrums of boredom. Problem is, I can't remember it (and at 2.25 am, a time where superhumans should be allowed to tire, I'm not really hard pressed to find out what it was despite the trashy probably-spyware ridden searchbar handily located on my browser window). In fact I seem to recall skipping significant chunks of said movie just to find out if its contains a happy, heart-titillating ending (which, without a care in the world whether you've watched it or not, it does).

What had initially begun as a promising holiday break with proposed columns to write and hell, even the plans for a flipping short story (which I hope to revive someday somehow somewhere) seems to have dissolved into a miasmi of laziness and a series of stumbling blocks. The one bright spark of my holidays (and fittingly, totally unrelated to anything literary) shall not be further elaborated upon due to the incredible sensitivity of the topic (myself holding true to The Third Law of Superhumans ~ Thou shall not air emotional laundry publically).

In fact, the recently passed Sunday, majestically titled "The Great Culinary Experience" was a day set aside for myself to explore my hidden culinary talent by whipping up hot tasty pancakes (the very attribute that defines the Ultimate Man™. According to womens magazines, I swear). It's safe to say that Butlerman, despite being the beloved hero of mankind and enlightened protector of Siglap, wouldn't be recieving the "die die must try" rating made famous by Makansutra anytime soon. Speaking of which, it has always seemed to me that that particular programme has made it seem as if every other stall in Singapore is helmed by the next gastronomical genius to be exalted upon by the Michelin Guide. To further elaborate upon my resounding failure... indugle yourself in a prolonged stare at the following photo, and remember to utter a heartfelt prayer before you sleep tonight that you shall never be on the recieving end of one of my pancake breakfasts.

If I'm allowed to defend myself, I blame the eggs (which have been left in my fridge for months - the Butler family being notorious of rather starving to death then actually cook themselves any food), and the fact I can't flip a pancake if my life depended on it (hence the Texas Chainsaw Massacre re-enactment).

If you've managed to read up to thus far (or experienced enough to skip the majority of my written garbage decorated with about half a million brackets), then a hearty congratulations is in due order, and the calm reassurance that you would not have to struggle through more of my rubbish for at least a month or so. Until then...

Keeping you safe by keeping himself locked up,
Butlerman and
TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 2:16 am
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