To the BATMOBILE

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

(something very witty and funny that hasn't been thought of)

I have not yet succumbed to the pressures of my prelims yet (far from it as a matter of fact). Instead, I have compiled a list of reasons for my downright failure at keeping a consistent stream of textual diahhroea to keep anyone bored enough to visit this blog entertained.

In order of severity, believability (vocabulary fails me at the most inconvenient of times).

1) GMDS - Good Music Defiency Syndrome. Well. Seriously.

The type of music I listen to does affect the quality of writing I produce. For example, listening to techno is the writer's equivalent of trying to sew while having a seizure (for me anyway). In general, playing music tends to induce me into a divinely inspired burst of creativity in a splendour of dancing extravaganza. Which leaves much for me to explain whenever my parents enter my room without knocking and catch me in a mid-air pirouette or in the climax of a grave-turning air guitar solo.

2) The occasional bee in my room.

No need for further elaboration. Whats the use of improving my writing skills or entertaining you dear readers out there, when all I'm gonna get is a bee sting in my eyeball and die in a horrible explosion due to complications arising from surgery.

Speaking of "all I'm going to get". Monetary donations as well as offerings of your souls are accepted in my soon-to-be-established Support-Butlerman! fund in order to better society (and get me new jeans). Words of advice and comments on writing can also be given, but those aren't valued much.

This leads on to..

2.5) Not wearing a shirt.

Major, major problem. This tends to affect most guys with ego, big or small. There is an insatiable desire to walk over to the mirror in my room and go through every Mr. Universe pose there is. This tends to take place after my pirouettes and "Enrique Iglesias - Hero" starts playing.

This has been labelled 2.5 because there might come a time where I may have to commence a massive cover-up operation and edit this point away if this comes back to haunt me.

Of course, what follows after my daily flexes would be...

3) Daydreams of making love to a hot (oriental? I'm not picky) cheerleader on a bearskin rug in front of an open fireplace in a cabin on a snowy mountain.

Once more, no further elaboration. And no, there is no one in specific (seriously).

4) (Now for the weaker excuses) As Butlerman, international heart-throb and guardian of the galactic empire that is Siglap, I have been busy saving stuff.

5) Studies.

Which is funny because I'm neglecting my A. Maths integration test which would take place in a matter of eight hours and having just realised I don't really know what the integration of Logarithms. And just handily forgot about Trigonometry too.

Oh well. Maths beckons.

TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 11:47 pm
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