To the BATMOBILE

Sunday, April 16, 2006

batman (butlerman) forever...

(Editor's note: It has taken me yet another half a century to get myself down to writing this entry... Nothing new really, considering how its taking me five times as long to get myself down to studying for the upcoming Mid-Year examinations... I live life on the edge!)

The 12th of April was not a good day, for obvious reasons (to those who do not realise the significance of this date, I shall type out two words with fire in my veins and blood in my eyes "Rugby finals". Yes I meant the two of you...). I hesitate to delve even surface deep into the topic, for even with the willpower of a God and the self control of the Buddha, I struggle to restrain myself from polluting my beloved online journal with words of anger against the Singapore Rugby Union, and what they have taken away from Butlerman and his minions (I meant teammates. Slip of the tongue?).

Fast forward till today, where many other things have happened in between now and then, the utter disastrous Chinese Oral (I always claimed that Chinese women have beautiful lips! Editors note: Forgive the explicit content. Ignore, if you please...) Examinations inclusive. Most eventful of all would be my near death at the hands of half a dozen motorists along Orchard Road, which happened naught but a few hours ago (my bladder still leaks with ill-controlled fear).

As I was making my way through the maddening systems of pedestrian crossings (in desperate bid to get myself from the back of Wheelock Place to the front of Tangs) after sending a dear friend off, I dropped a coin. Note however, it was not just any ordinary coin - it was a one dollar coin, and it wasn't just anywhere which I dropped it, for I dropped it while crossing the road from Wheelock to Lido. With my wallet being as thin as an Ethiopian drought-plagued farmer on a hunger strike, I did what any sensible human-by-day-superhero-by-night would do. I stooped to pick it up.

As my back creaked out several concertos worth of groaning, my keen Butlerman senses failed to notice that I was the only person left on the road, with the lights just turned green. I was stra nded in the middle of the road, with hundreds of automobiles bearing down on me with the drivers wearing expresisons not unlike Jack Nicholson in Batman.

This was then I proceeded to kick into a backflip before doing a series of somersaults to safety, all the while juggling my decrepit Canterbury school bag. Not really. I had to prostrate myself before a cream-coloured Nissan to beg for my life, before he glanced over me like I was an imperfectly formed piece of shit, and signalled for me to move on.

Without any more unforseen incidents like these, I should be making preparations for immediate cremation after I finish my Mid Years, with my mum quite keen on reliving her cane-wielding masochist days.

To the dear friends who now make their pleasant way to Shanghai, Beijing wherever their OEP may lead them to... Do remember to get me an offering of peace and declaration of my greatness.
TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 8:38 pm
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