To the BATMOBILE
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Sunday, October 02, 2005
(Edit: I'm losing my title-naming ingenuity - I really am) Kung-fu fighting, na-nana-nana-na-na-na! Faster than lightninng... Hut! Hyah! Fut! Fanchoy! Voila! (Insert oriental-sounding grunts of exertion and/or hokkien expletives at own discretion) After suffering terribly at the hands of my math tutor and an early morning session of gruelling Social Studies revision, I deviated to several local (legal - I hasten to add) video-rental and sales proprietors to attempt to relieve stress by borrowing several favourite films (namely 'The Dangerous Lives of the Altar Boys', 'Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels', 'Pirates of the Carribean'). In one of the more obscure (and borderline legal) shops, I stumbled across a secret cache of weird kungfu films (when are they never) assembled since the beginning of the 1970's right till this very day (though admittedly, the numbers of dwindling... Shame really). It was also at this point which I realised my search for a cheap, affordable version of 'Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels' was in vain, and ululating in great dismay, I threw my hands up in despair, only succeeding in banging myself on the forehead with copies of "Karate Kid" (I remember thinking in some obscure corner of my underused brain that my situation was exceedingly unfair...) Of course, we all already know what's going to happen in kungfu films, don't we... 1) Numerous fights will ensue between the protaganist (Jackie Chen, Bruce Li, and other such spinoffs manufactured in a remote location in China) and hordes of thugs (if you call 4 foot tall Chinese guys in eyesplitting 70's "pimptastic" suits thugs). And of course, the all important lesson, 2) A concoction of handsprings and somersaults makes you bulletproof (do not try this at home). Despite his terrible acting and performance, you still have to feel a tinge of sympathy for our hero because... 3) The chinese dude never gets the girl (anything that violates China's one-child policy is a strict no-no!) Badly produced, D-grade movies aside (all of which seem to be named "Dragon/Fists/Revenge/Rise of the Phoenix/Fire/Fists/Fury/Dragon/Bruce), I shall now proceed back to my intense sessions of pure, unadulterated, hardcore Social Studies action before pausing for an hour or two (maybe three or four) session of ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE action. TO THE BATMOBILE |
The Writer
highly confidential Martin Butler, or affectionally known to others as "Butler", "Butlerman", or just "Butt". -Most eligible bachelor of 2004-every year henceforth - step aside Mr.Clooney -Doesn't particularly enjoy much anymore having been desensitized as part of a cruel torturous regime a.k.a IB... -Dislikes everything he doesn't like... Nov 8th - Remember the date! MSN - butlerwantsu@hotmail.com (Add with caution) Archives
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a tense atmosphere of hot air, greasy stains and the endless grumbles of the engine - and that's only me 
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