To the BATMOBILE

Thursday, July 07, 2005

to whom it may concern - dated 8-7-2065

"To whom it may concern,

If you are reading this now, it would mean everybodys dearly departed Siglap-residing superhero has met his untimely demise at either of these following several causes -

1) Liver failure from a bottle too many
and or
2) Very fittingly, a car accident involving the ultimate destruction of the last car in the world, the very fabled "Batmobile" a.k.a. Nissan Sunny

Despite living a life Hugh Hefner would be ashamed of, and having untold riches at his fingertips, the unforunate soul dies a bachelor, and as pure as the Virgin Mary, due to many mistakes on his behalf. Most glaring of them all being the inability to deviate from the same girl since the tender age of 13. What a _____ old fool (Activity time: Insert into the blanks any choice of words of your liking! 'Stubborn / Useless / Retarded / Incompetent / Strikingly Handsome')

Thus, it is his wish that he sends out deep gratitude to that lone woman, who as intelligence reports suggest, after having a successful rock career, and is married to ______ (Activity time 2: Insert any of the following words 'Bon Jovi's clone / Bono's clone / Some guy'*).

Before he forgets, he would also like to point out to Mandeep Singh (who at the age of 24 made an audacious bid to buy-over Milo and failed miserably**) that he "told you so".

The prophetic fool resigned to more or less be sentenced to rot in hell for eternity as he wrote this message to the general public. With the last whispers of respect he can garner from to whom this may concern, he would like to say that all these years as a siglap-raised superhuman hunk, he has tried his best to please the general public (excusing bengs, lians and the bloody aunties next door who never stopped playing mahjong) and most importantly his friends.

Over and out.
Dearly departed -

Butlerman"

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

*I would constantly turn in my grave if that were to happen. I'd come back to haunt the bugger.
**As the saying goes "Touch wood"

TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 9:44 pm
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