To the BATMOBILE

Monday, June 13, 2005

who needs brad pitt...

"The Secret Life of Butlerman", starring Johnny Depp as Martin Butler, Angelina Jolie as herself, and everybody else being insignificant, a real life story where in a publicity trip to Singapore to promote her latest movie, Angelina Jolie stumbles across Marine Parade Road's residential superhero (Yours truly, Butlerman) and falls in love.

You would have to excuse me of course, but any teenager's imaginations and creativity runs wild after watching any movie which involves the Sexiest Woman Alive, Angelina Jolie. Mine are just more vivid than most. (Much of it has thankfully been left out in view of female audience)

After watching "Mr and Mrs Smith" at Lido (at the exorbant price of $9.50), and emerging triumphant, sexually-charged, wild-eyed and smelling of popcorn butter, cursing Brad Pitt with the vocabulary a drunk Irish sailor would be ashamed of, and looking rather sexy in my pink shirt and pair of Levis' at 12am. I lingered in stupor at the bus stop for about 20 minutes, occasionally taking a glimpse at the midnight sky in hope of seeing Ms. Jolie arriving via helicopter to fetch her favourite superhero to her secret island abode. That was, until I realised the last bus had already left, and the prospect of taking a cab (and the extremely tempting 50% more midnight surcharge) did not seem all that pleasant.

Giving the heavens above a last hopeful scan (just in case the helicopter got delayed by bad air traffic), I succumbed to one of the many hundred balding chinese men driving Citicabs around orchard, like vultures homing in for the kill for a piece of an extremely depressed Butlerman (I had also confessed my feelings to the girl of my dreams. Not the result, nor reaction I was hoping for, to say the least), after eyeing my already-depleted wallet greedily.

Utter Ms. Jolie's name and my (Me and every other male on the face of this planet) jaw goes into spasms as salivary glands loses all control and heads into overproductivity (and more. I'll spare the details). What can I say other than quote my dear sister who claims that she will "grow a dick for that woman" (well maybe something unrelated to transexual and/or gender issues)

With my trip to Bangkok in 2 days (Yes, the 15th-21st. Somebody better bleeding miss me this time round! *shakes angry fist*), transexual and/or gender-related issues are more relevant I suppose. Give me a message or two to support me within the next week or so people, with "the girl a.k.a. girl of my dreams etc etc" being overseas as well, (managed to escape this time) I need somebody else to talk to.

Best of luck,
To (hopefully) a very unlikely relationship with "the girl",
A safe journey to Bangkok and back,
A successful Batman Begins premiere (irrelevant, yes I know... I know...)
TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 11:30 pm
link |

0 Comments:

Want to Post a Comment?

back to main page