To the BATMOBILE

Saturday, January 29, 2005

how the mighty fall...

the sun rides high in the endless plains of singapore. empty shutters rattle in the dry breeze as fearful faces gaze from behind broken window glass. the clock strikes noon and the horses neigh in response. a dark figure strides into town, spurs aclinking, face covered by a widebrimmed hat, pistols ever-ready. he looks up, exposing a familiar face, and cries out a challenge-

HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOO????

and as per usual, most of my desperate pleas for a MSN conversation get taken care off by a simple, sure-fire shot to the head. the "away" sign comes on. 1 year ago, i had people actually WANT to talk to me.

(i pause now as i rush off as Saints just scored against Portsmouth in FA Cup! YEAAAAAAAAAAAH COMON MATTHEW OAKLEY. however, just as each passing moment of ecstacy in my life, it is quickly shattered by the reality of life. one minute after we score, we concede a penalty. 1-1 currently. FUCK)

sigh. as the defender of supreme justice and guardian of the bustling city of siglap+katong, butlerman cannot do himself shame by resorting to naming... names. but - butlerman still wants to drive his 2nd-hand batmobile off the nearest cliff (nono, not bukit timah... nearest tall cliff would be.......... ah damn it. ill just stand on the Changi airport runway and let some SQ boeing 747/airbus run me down).

i would have loved to posted this article earlier than today, such as maybe december when people actually -read- my rantings. however. the urban legend about butlerman and his beau was rampant and to be honest, slightly true (if not very one-sided). nowadays i've more or less given up, having gathered enough (not so)subtle hints that i'm not particularly pleasant company or less pleasant than others, what could i do. (alot more apparently) but i gave up. another stupid thing i've done. just to humiliate myself for everybody's pleasure, i'll give another stupid example - IM STILL WAITING for her/anyone without a Y chromosome to start a conversation. for all those who don't take bio/don't know/don't go to school, that means a female. (i had to ask to make sure. heh)

sigh. today i had a brief (mis)adventure at NYGH, having met nobody i wanted to meet, and everyone i didn't want to. i'm desperate. if i told you how desperate i was, i'd have to kill you. and myself to get rid of the pain.

what was so different from me 1 year ago that nobody wants to talk to me anymore? it appears i won't find out. cause nobody tells me. which goes back to the point WHY WON'T ANYBODY TALK TO ME. sigh. before i wallow in my self-pity and drown to death in it, i shall stop. "STOP! hammer time! da-na-na-na, na-na, na-na, can't touch that".

another seemingly few and far between episode of butlerman. which hurt so much to write. so the one person who reads it better treasure it! (you bastard you)
a last minute update on Saints V Pompey = 2-1. yay.

to saints!
to a better social life!
(a plea)
to people to start talking!
TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 9:23 pm
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Saturday, January 22, 2005

the return of butlerman...

well. they say a writer's imagination comes from a single random creative spark that comes at any time. havent had one of those for a loong looong time. however, what i have had recently is a strong dose of hot chinese chicks while on an overseas trip to china! decent trade-off by any means, hehehe.

on the topic of hot chinese chicks and overseas enrichment programmes (very much part of the venerable ACSi curriculum), i have decided that overall - CHINA ROCKED BALLS. while most of the chinese schoolgirls thought i was some mandai zoo exhibition, with the average caucasian being as rare as a singaporean with good table manners or the proverbial "blue moon", a good number of them actually smiled at me (which incidentally set off a few hormonal reactions within me). for several brief instances of my subzero forage into Shanghai, Suzhou and Hangzhou, i actually felt wanted by someone. which of course never occurs in Singapore. and not to mention the fact i could speak chinese nearly killed several of them.

well. everybody's favourite superhero butlerman is back after nearly having the time of his life. this officially marks the end of the first seemingly successful year of the chronicles of butlerman. however i havent accomplished one target i seek to complete, that is, to see a new name on my tagboard. new = someone i dont know. the rate this is going, i'd sooner migrate to China to find a taitai for myself, as the chances for someone to display similar affections for yours truly is rather slim indeed.

such a morbid future i have in store for myself. (unless i decide to migrate to china, of which there are 3 possible outcomes, ranked in order of probability,
1- i get HIV 90%
2- i get killed by several triad members 9.9%
3- my chinese improves 0.1%)

now, as i go off to report this new addition to this online journal on MSN, to the odd person who bothers to read, butlerman bids you good day, and reminds you not to go to China without leaving all sympathy behind. (i didn't and tried to give way to one cyclist, only for the rest of them to misinterpret me. that incident nearly got me run down by 600 or so motorised bicycles)

butlerman is back from shanghai, and now off
TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 3:56 am
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