To the BATMOBILE

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

when the hunter becomes the hunted...

10 half crazed, starving boys with guns.
no, its not the JI.

rather, its my seniors and i, having a fun-filled pain-wracked game of Paintball. and despite my desperately evident inadequacy with a gun (my future National Service sergeant - watch out), with my aiming abilities on par with one of the three blind mice on crack, i cant deny that i didn't have fun - pain excluded (getting shot hurts, as i realised from personal experience. vast amounts of experience)

even roughly 4 days after the 600 seperate incidents where i got virtually riddled/splattered by a multitude of colourful paint splotches, i have nightmares of getting shot down at range (i innocently unaware of the fact he, jason, missed twice and he had me in his sights forabout half an hour). i (somewhat gratefully) resigned to my demise after uttering a pain-filled vulgarity (several if i recall), rising gracefully from an ungraceful half squat which somewhat resembled a constipated toad, bloodied and painted but unbowed in defeat, after a full five minutes of hard work, sweat and toil crawling about my base frantically pleading for assistance in reloading my paintball rifle (i still believe it was sabotaged). much to my surprise, as i was about to raise my trembling arms to signify defeat, the terrifying sight of mia hiang (by far not the smallest person present), rising up from a bush like a god of war, and in the space of 5 seconds, revel in my state of despair and fear, took in the delightful sounds of my screeching of "heeeeeeelp" before emptying his clip in me, leaving me in a comatose state of pain.

to this day, i still have the bruises on my fine physique, and i wear them as badges of honour and bravery, showing them off to my seemingly unperturbed friends (i'm sure everybody wants one now! at the expense of $30 for 2 hours and a ridiculous $18 taxi fare to discovery centre. how was i supposed to know that it's at tuas and on the opposite side of singapore from my beloved home of Mandarin Gardens at siglap rd?)

and after having (deliciously cheap and a rather interesting) dinner with shawn ang at Thai Pan, i'm pleased to say i've re-acquainted myself with an old friend i used to play football with in years gone by when i was considered small (or vaguely human-sized as most friends recount). and i made a new acquaintance, of whom i haven't really made contact since then. still a net increase of TWO on my friendster. whoo. damn i feeel like a Sim.

another belated (sorry) misadventure of
martin "target practice" butler a.k.a. butlerman, recreating a losing battle against the viet cong.
cheers to a (sadly) departing friend, anderson.
TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 8:49 pm
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

butler in the grande finale - not

"come on guys! this is the day of the finals, no holding back now! we're gonna do this now and get the trophy back for ACS!!!" not true.

"ladies and gentlemen, we are sorry to announced that the B Division Police Cup Finals will be postponed to tomorrow at the same time" true - but a load of bull

"good god i am gonna have to set up everything tomorrow again" me - true, tired and downright pissed.

"well at least there's our 'final's' celebration dinner! Sashimi for everyone!" everyone - happy

"i'm sorry guys, but all those people playing tomorrow can't have sashimi for health concerns." coach - sad?

"bullshit" everyone

at least i got to eat sashimi. at the expense of not playing = NOOOOOOOOOO. oh wells. next year, next year. *tense music* watch out foolish mortals! butlerman is coming back... in a few months time, with all feebleness of a malnourished 87-year old artheritis-ridden man.

after plunging my poor limbs into a freezing tub to chill 80 bottles of gatorade and water for the rugby team, i have resigned to my fate that i'll have to do the same thing tomorrow, and put off my haircut at the salon for friday (damnit i feel like a sheepdog). at least i get to skip class. and do weights *flex flex* *award winning smile*.

one more day to spend with my seniors - go with peace ya'll! riiisssssppppeeeccctt (respect) ya'll. INNIT. (i shalll explain my use of this foreign tongue in the future). from the gargantuan figure of the gentle giant mia hiang to the ever-laughing (to the point of mad) jason, i shall miss you all *wipes away the tear in his eye*

moments of anguish and weaknesses aside (i shall be strong!), it was fun to be able to talk and joke with my seniors with no care in the world (well, apart from the universally-heavy burdens of being a superhero of course)

wish us all the best!
(if i played, it wouldnt be needed! hawhaw)
TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 10:12 pm
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Sunday, April 10, 2005

butlerman and the lil people

aaaahhhh.... the lil people. in other words, the minority!

many examples i can give you, such as a certain breed of eurasians (one of which goes by the surname of butler, is devastatingly attractive, or so i've heard), or lets say, in terms of sports, "minnows" as they occasionally coin the non-achievers.

it's however, the "minnows" of the sporting world which shall recieve an attempted lashing from me today - beware this may sting.... *snarls* raaaar *hisses and spits* raaaaaaar. that should do. *hiss*

todays butlerparliamentary debate will revolve around this issue - are minnows required?

the recent world cup qualifiers have broadened my view of the world in such that, i now know there is a country called Azerbaijan as well as Liechenstein (spelling?), and thus i have drawn up several methods of which they have drawn up their world cup qualifying squad.

one of which would be the posting of a newsletter in the town square or by town crier.
"hear ye hear ye, anybody who wishes to sign up to play a game of football would recieve free food coupons and a healthy camel" would probably capture the attention of most azerbaijanese(azerbajians? azerbaijishes? it seems i would never know)

(note that i am not trying to put them down, but it does pique your curiosity doesn't it? well. it does mine)

this topic, has run rampant all over my expansive mind, until i more or less realised that i live in a country populated by less then 4 million people. and has a dismal football team as well. (alright alright. theres the tiger cup...)

on a slightly happier note, ive managed to get my ipod mini!!! wooooo.

(dreadfully apologetic for)
another scrambled-together episode of...
TO THE BATMOBILE

posted by butler at 10:28 pm
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